兩週年 (2-year anniversary)

 

今天是這個blog誕生兩週年，雖然人氣不怎麼樣，但在這個特別的日子寫點東西還是必需吧。

 

在這個日子，想寫點關於心靈上的內容。

 

為甚麼自己會留意FIRE運動，更加身體力行？

 

為甚麼要寫這個blog？

 

說實話，我只是一個普通得不能再普通的人，當初也經歷過大部分人會經歷的煩惱。我投身社會的年代，曾經以投身教育界為目標，可是那個年代入行很困難，投入很多，收穫卻很少。又覺得社會很絕望，從大學校園乘搭火車回家的路上，探頭望出車外，看見密密麻麻的小棺材，然後心情也隨著車箱一起駛進黑洞裏。我就是要窮一生的精力換取這些東西嗎？再看看電視機，看見那些人，也覺得這些問題沒有能被解決的一天。

 

所以就搜索著有沒有方法擺脫這個困局。看著看著就找到FIRE運動或者類似的觀念，又發現不但make sense，也好像適合自己的性格。看見前輩這樣勇敢，我也用自己的方式實踐下去了。

 

如果你以為我打算在這裏大發牢騷，把自己的經歷形容得多悲慘，那就錯了。我沒有這個必要，那些日子已經過去了。況且，我認為我遇過的，其他很多人也有遇過。

 

如果你以為我打算在這裏講述自己如何英明神武，在逆境下創造奇蹟，那都錯了。FIRE的原理比differential geometry或者functional analysis之類簡單得多了，我覺得我只是幸運地選對了一條適合自己的路，僅此而已。

 

我覺得我經歷過的東西是我們這一代人共同經歷過的災難。能夠從這場災劫中逃出生天，好像挺幸運，但有時也會反問自己，為何自己逃脫了，但有更多的人逃不過？尤其是說實話，每當聽到一些故事，知道世界上某處角落可能存在能讓自己心悅誠服的人，生活卻可能不比自己的輕鬆，就開始有點罪惡感。

 

所以覺得寫一個blog，可能有點意義。

 

其實我覺得我不會改變到這個世界。正如FIRE運動一樣，這個概念已經存在了一段時間，但真正有了解它的人，也不會很多。

 

跟別人交談的時候，也會覺得一部分人的價值觀，跟自己的有著巨大的落差，我覺得我不可能改變到他們。

 

可是，也遇過一些跟自己價值觀比較接近，他們曾經也有一絲念頭要做類似我做過的東西，但可能是礙於社會的風氣不敢真的付諸實行，或者因為沒有時間沒有系統所以做的效果不夠好。我覺得這些人就是我的對象，可能他們在偶然間看到有人真的在實踐他們在腦海中的奇怪想法時，就能夠像當年的我一樣，鼓起勇氣一起做。也可能他們看到一些操作上的技巧，會讓他們有所得著。

 

我想，這個應該就是我寫blog想得到的意義。

 

生日快樂吧，我的日記，雖然一點也不專業，可是也是我人生以來覺得做最有意義的事情。

 

 

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Today is the 2-year anniversary of this blog. Although it is not popular at all, I think it is necessary to write something on this special day.

 

On this day, I want to write something spiritual.

 

Why do I follow the FIRE movement? Why am I doing it?

 

Why am I writing this blog?

 

I am just an ordinary person. I encountered difficulties that most people also encountered. When I grew up, I tried to become a teacher to make a living. However, it was very hard to do so in that era. I put in a lot of efforts, but I got very little. I also felt hopeless with the society. I can still remember, there’s one day when I was on my way back home from university, I was sitting on a train. When I looked through the windows, I saw thousands of little coffins coming to my eyes. My emotion entered the blackhole with the train. Am I destined to spend my whole fucking life trying to get these little coffins? Then I look at the TV, when I saw those people, I was surer that these problems will never be resolved.

 

Thus, I tried to search for ways out. Then I found something about the FIRE movement or similar concepts. I think that the concept doesn’t only make sense, it also suits my personality. When I saw my senpais doing it bravely, I tried to implement it in my own way too.

 

If you think that I am going to moan about my experiences, then you are wrong. These days are well behind me. Moreover, I think many people also encountered what I encountered.

 

If you think that I am going to talk about how capable I am, then you are wrong too. The concept of FIRE is so much easier than things like differential geometry or functional analysis. I was just lucky enough to have chosen a path that suits me.

 

I think what I encountered is a disaster that affected a whole generation. It seems lucky for me to survive from it. But sometimes I ask myself, why I escaped but most did not? To be honest, sometimes I hear about stories of people who I really admire, but somehow it seems that I have an easier life. Sometimes I really feel like a criminal for this.

 

Thus, I think that it might be meaningful to write a blog.

 

I actually don’t think that I could change the world. Just like the FIRE movement, the idea had been proposed for many years, but only a few really understand it.

 

When I talk with the others, I also find that some people have really huge difference in life values with me. I don’t think I could change them.

 

However, I also met some people who share more similar values with me. Perhaps they did think about doing something similar as me, but they didn’t do it because it is not encouraged by the social culture. Or perhaps they tried to do it but didn’t do it efficiently. I think those people are my target. Perhaps they would find encouragement when they find that someone else is really implementing their crazy ideas, just like what I experienced. Perhaps they could implement their ideas more efficiently after reading my blog.

 

I think this is what I want to get from writing this blog.

 

Happy birthday, my blog. Although it is not professional at all, it is the most meaningful thing I ever did.